Happy Tuesday! Here’s a little personal story that I hope inspires you to take your first step.
I’ve been on a rocky journey for years that I was unable to describe. I knew something was wrong but I just didn’t know what was wrong.
Growing up, the only way I knew how to deal with all my problems was reacting through anger or using unhealthy methods to avoid the issue. That negative cycle forced me to see myself as a victim all the time. This made it very hard to go through my daily routines and just life in general.
I made several attempts “trying” to change my mindset. I just never put my full effort in anything so yeah, nothing ever changed.
I had many episodes throughout the years, some worse than others. Every time I had an episode, I would cry and then pray for it to just end. I wouldn’t eat or want to socialize with anyone. I felt like a horrible mother and just a horrible person in general.
I would ask myself, why am I so angry? Why am I in such a negative mindset? When will this end? I have everything I need and more with such a beautiful family. What is wrong with me?
I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Anxiety Disorder in 2015. I was very hard on myself after I was diagnosed. My depression gave me the low feeling while my anxiety couldn’t keep my mind from racing, the two clashing together were driving me damn near crazy.
I was given two options. To go on medications or see a therapist. I took none of these options. I did not want to depend on anything to force me to feel “normal” unnaturally and I didn’t want to vent to someone I had no connection to.
I tried different things but never really committed to anything, I went through many hardships over the years like being a teen mom, postpartum depression, going through the court system, suicidal thoughts, a suicide attempt, a miscarriage and other events that derailed me but it wasn’t until a year ago that I started to look into affirmations.
I mean let me tell you, I was so skeptical that it would even work. I mean repeating words over and over again, seemed somewhat ridiculous to me. I was so indecisive but with the help of my family, I came to realization that if I ever wanted to start somewhere I needed to put my full effort to try anything.
I knew I needed to build a foundation so I could grow and learn from it. I began reading affirmations that were already created on Pinterest because I didn’t know where to begin.
The most important thing I’ve learned from affirmations is that creating a positive mindset will open the door to many things.
Now… I am not saying that affirmations was the answers to all my problems or that it cured me but it was a tiny step that opened a big door for me.
Affirmations allowed me to become my thoughts. They’ve helped the way I think about myself. They’ve helped me overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts about myself. The more I repeat them, the more I believe them and the easier it is to keep positive thoughts.
A Tip from me to you: When you say the affirmation, try to picture yourself in that state already.
What I want to express is how important the first step is when you’re struggling with anything! I’ve grown so much but I am still so far from where I want to be. I am grateful I took the steps I did with all the bumps and bruises.
Working on yourself is a life long journey.
I understand that I will struggle and stumble here and there but when you build a foundation, it makes it easier to get right back up and continue the journey.
I am beyond lucky to have the support system I do and it took me over 10 years to find my first step but when I found it, it was the push I needed.
One piece of advice I can give to anyone struggling is to love yourself and be patient. The journey is a bumpy road but remember you’re not alone and you have a purpose.
Here are 3 Affirmations you can start off with:
- I am grounded and strong minded
- I am filled with happiness
- I am brave and fearless
Stay tuned for my next post, in which I’ll be sharing 30 affirmations.
Comment below your favorite affirmations!
*This is my story. I do not want to influence or discredit anyone who takes a different route to their path of healing. My goal sharing this story is to have anyone struggling to know you are not alone and to take initiate to find what works for you, no matter how many failed attempts or roadblocks you encounter*